I have been married for 4 months. That’s right, count them. Four. Though it has been a blast and exciting roller coaster of emotions and I am thrilled to be spending the rest of my life with my best friend and loving partner, I want to address one thing: children. Either because I am now 30 years old or because that’s what you ask a newlywed couple– several times I have been asked or joked about having children. I just want to set some things straight. And as a side note–I know the joking is in good jest and this is not directed at any one person–sometimes you just have to be careful what you’re joking about.
First, NO WHERE in the Bible does it say that children are required to have the perfect family. Nowhere. One of my professor mentioned this before I got married and I was taken aback by how simple yet profound this statement was. Now, don’t get me wrong–children are definitely marked as a blessing and generations cannot exist without offspring “springing out.” for the covenant made with Abraham, but it is not required to live a full life. In fact, Paul in his letters talks about even marriage getting in the way of following Christ. Of course, marriage is completely different than children. But in the biblical sense, marriage came before children so if you cannot handle being married and a relationship with God, then kids are definitely off the table.
Second, you have to ben careful WHO you joke around with. I know personally from many of my friends they waited several years before having kids both by choice and not by choice. So every time someone indicates that their sick or not feeling well it is NOT a good idea to suggest that they’re pregnant. It may strike a sensitive topic or be something a couple has chose not to participate in and only makes matters worse. Laughing about something that may be physically difficult for a couple or feel like they have to fight because they don’t agree with it can get difficult. I know i have friends who spent years (that’s right, not months, YEARS) trying to have a kid and to only joke about this would throw emotions around. It also doesn’t help those of use who have minor anxiety/control issues and all that joke did for me personally was run me into the millions of website and billions of “what if” scenarios. Not health and doesn’t help me feel better…
Thirdly, just because someone is so old or just married or whatever is not an automatic jump to children. Maybe they want to travel. Maybe children are not an option. Maybe they didn’t have a choice. But I feel like because I am now a married woman over 25 that kids must be the next option. I wish people didn’t assume that. My mom was told she couldn’t have children and had me as a surprise at 41. Yep–41. And I came out just fine. And if someone had told her at 30 a joke like this, she would have been emotionally downhearted.
Anyways–just something to think about the next time you want to make a joke about being pregnant. Food for thought, really.
A long time ago in a … wait a minute. J/K; One summer I decided to get a job at Barnes and Noble. I loved reading (admittedly) and wanted to get more into reading all kinds of books, not the just the occasion recommendation. At B&N, they have a section called “Discover: New Writers” where maybe local or new upcoming writers get their chances to show off their stuff. That is how I came across one of my most beloved books: The God File.
The story is about a man thrown into prison for a crime he did not commit. He states from the beginning that his goal is to create evidence that God exists. And not in the “happy ever after” stories where the man with a decent job gets cancer and has a huge support system that eventually helps him go into remission and become “cured.” No-Gabriel Black is going to search for God where he is–prison. With the problems, enemies, the frustrations that come along with being placed in prisoner for something you did not do wrong.
My original copy is hardback, which I prefer in this case, because if gives you the feeling you have sheets of paper in a hard file, which is the way the book is set up. Chapters are short, there is a brief introduction in the beginning to give you the setting and each chapter is a description of Gabriel’s description of why that topic is included in his God File. There are duplicates along with some “choice language (I would not let anyone under 14 read this) and a conclusion that, well, is interesting. (I try not to provide spoilers so you can read!)
I highly recommend this book. It’s short–only 147 pages give or take a page for publishing. You can read it in a two hour flight. It’s definitely deep and good to have on a reader’s shelf.
Though I consider myself a very sociable person with the human side… I talk to my dogs a lot. In fact, I have theological conversations if they are hanging around when I’m studying or I need an “audience” to practice a sermon. Yes, I have asked both my dogs if they know Jesus. It gives me a nice laugh (especially their facial expression of “do you really have to ask me that…”)
So this got me thinking. We as believers need to interact with God’s creation more. Now I don’t necessarily mean talking to your dogs or fish or plants (even though there are tons of articles and philosophies about talking to plant life.) But I do mean going outside more, taking a moment to be thankful of the Creator that not only has created everything around but also given us as humans the responsibility to take care of it. Sometimes I think as humans we take advantage of this. We abuse our creation every day and sometimes don’t even take a second to acknowledge the blessings God has given use through His creation.
And that’s why I have dogs…that’s what my dogs remind me of. They remind me of God. They remind me to be thankful (they are rescues) and to be happy even for the smallest things of coming through the front door and being home among family. To be happy about even the simplest food….and to enjoy EVERY toy!