Theological ThinkTank

November moving to Keto

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So here it is…November 1st.

Today was the day I had planned to move to my ketogenic diet which incorporates high fat, moderate protein and low carb. This meant no chips, fries, rice or tortillas.

However–I couldn’t have picked a worse day to start

Not only is it in the middle of the week but it is also a day I have a morning meeting with my MOPS group, haven’t prepared anything cause last night was Halloween and I had to take a second shower since we had a fire pit going. Work has also offered me some prizes that I can have now not later (like a Jamba Juice drink) and Shawn and I also talked a little bit about what this diet means and how much he is participating (he will eat what I eat at home, not drink soda, etc. but not so gluten free and be responsible for his own not safe snacks.)

So instead…I will be starting this new lifestyle Monday, November 6th.

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Holiday laughs

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So Facebook is wonderful seeing old photos.

Today I came across this one with the csptsin: when traveling with a pumpkin always remember safety first.

Yep-made me laugh. Happy pumpkin in a seatbelt Day!!

Another fun day!

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So sometimes if you work full time —you should take a day to run off and have fun! Luckily for me—this includes Disneyland.

So there were many laughs with the twists,’turns and tangled on the rides

Sending Toxic to the Trash

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I want to preface this blog up front. There are sensitive and personal topics in this message. They affect me deeply and emotionally and the fact that I am writing them down somewhere is actually a HUGE step in the emotional and mental “recovery” I need from practically having a breakdown a few weeks ago. I am good… don’t worry. But I don’t want it to get that bad again. So I’m heading off stuff at the pass and working on something that was encouraged by my 28 challenge in my MOPS group.

So here is goes:

Today, the dare was to three things the toxic voices in your head are saying. Then we’re suppose to write back to those voice, tell them why they are no longer true and write more about who you are really—having the last word. I know I needed to do this because it is these toxic voices that came up when I get depressed or disheartened and they help me spiral down emotionally. I don’t want that anymore. It sucks and when I talk about a spiral–I mean a literal mental spiral of thoughts that I can almost see forming in my head and I mentally have to stand my grand and shove back. No Longer I say–no longer.

1) I am not enough.

This is probably the root of all my emotional/mental strain. That I feel I am not enough. That I’m not enough of a mother, a wife, pet owner, a friend, a person. I’m not smart enough, I’m not healthy enough, I’m not organized enough. you name it. When something goes crazy wrong, I feel that I have left someone down by not doing enough to stop what happened.

Well “not enough”—guess what!? I am MORE than enough. I am a good mother-I care for my child, feed him, cuddle him and play with him. I put him first before anything because I know that I matter more than the world to this little human.  I am MORE than enough of a wife. I cook, I clean, I try to keep it together and support my husband when he is having a bad day or struggling with a work issue. I am MORE than a good pet parent–my dogs and rabbit get love, get food and sometimes I even let them have those whip cream spoons or run around wild for a movement. And I take them to the vet when they need help to make sure they are themselves, as healthy as they can be.

I am MORE than enough of a friend. I will always be there for them and no matter what–there’s always a spare place to sleep at our house (just call ;-)) and I always try to offer food if anyone is hungry.

and finally–I AM MORE THAN ENOUGH OF A PERSON. In my faith, I believe God sees me as having value. As being important and cared for as who I am. I wouldn’t be created nothing less. Now– I don’t use this to place me in a position authority or discrimination. But as someone who needs reassurance and to upstart my confidence.

2) You’re At Fault/ You need to Fix this.

Everyone close to me know that I have a tendency to take things personally. To the point of getting upset over the little things because I take on too much. This happened two weeks ago. When something goes wrong—it is in my nature to want to fix it to make it right. Don’t like a certain food?- I’ll make a special dish. Don’t like green?- I’ll purposely wear your favorite color. Don’t like me?- I’ll change so you do. I want people to feel loved and happy despite my own self-identity at times.

Well- that is definitely NOT my fault. While encouraging others to build themselves is good, sacrificing self identity is not acceptable. I realistically know that I cannot please everyone. And that not everyone is going to like me at all times. Life still moves and I know who to turn to if I need to feel more positively about myself. I will not cut out negative nellies because this world can and does suck sometimes. But I don’t need to try and digest the world. Especially at that moment. I just need to learn to digest constructive criticism without major consequence.

3) I am not alone:

This isn’t as much of a voice as much as it is my actions. I wonder if it comes sometimes from the fact I was a child of a double uterus of my mother (look it up-basically it’s two pouches for babies instead of one.) or just because at a young age I was forced to grow up but I operate very independently. Both in activity and taking on caring and action. While this can be a positive—it can come untangled quickly.

I know spiritually I am not alone. God is with me. always. And here I know Shawn is with me and Austin Needs me! and that I have friends and Co-workers and even completely strangers at times who stand beside me. So this alone crap is nonsense! I’m inserting this picture from the cruise because here is our family in a huge crowded environment and the servers ended being the best!—even entertaining Austin so I could eat! Supporting each other is key and therefor I am not alone

I enclosed the other photos as well because I feel they are moments recently where I was feeling my best. That silent moment where you realize life is good, that you are loved and that it’s great to giggle once and a while. YAY ME!

A little Keto Krazy?

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I know I have used this blog a lot to vent about my ups and downs in the dieting world. And thankful for it—it has given me an outlet to express how things are going with it all.

So recently on doctors orders I went gluten free. I love it honestly…for the first time in several months I had breaded shrimp and I swear I felt like a ton of bricks. So glad I’m not king back.

I also was told to go sugar free and I am trying very hard to do this but sometimes the craving takes over.

So as a result of my stalling Health numbers and weight…my doctor gave me the duty of going on a ketogenic diet. What does that mean? Well-it means 70-80% day, 15-20% protein and 5-10% carbs in my daily intake of food. There are more detailed explanations elsewhere, but in reading a lot about it I am confident this is my new happy health lifestyle. Not only is it about getting sugar out but helping my body actually burn fat not carbs/sugar turned into fat. I’ve already lost 40lbs…let’s lose some more.

So my Keto Diet is coming into full swing November 1st. At that point I want to be 100% eating this diet and I can’t wait. I’m doing a lot of reading, already purchased some ingredients to help me plan meals and saying goodbye to all that crud I eat that I’m sure is killing my body.

Why November 1st? Why not I say!

This is not a diet you can just start. There are guidelines, understanding of calorie intake and a lot of knowledge to st least glimpse before starting. Here are just a few:

1) you monitor your ketones daily.

When I was gestational diabetic, I had to measure my ketones because I was full blown insulting resistent. And when I mean full blown, I mean the last month of pregnancy I was taking 2-3x the average shot just to try and get my insulin levels to lower in the morning. From these little strips and measuring. Sugar I could tell a) I should never eat French fries and b) why a glass of milk before bed is not a great idea (milk has sugar people.)

2) have things prepared:

Don’t worry—I’m excited since Shawn and I need to work better at this anyways. I have found a few good books (like the one below) that have helpful ideas and luckily I live walking distance to a Sprouts which labels almost everything in the store for something like this.

I am also lucky in that I will take on any cooking challenge to learn how to make new things. I bought a ton of supplement ingredients the other night I had no idea what I was buying… it knew I wanted to try some crazy recipe to enjoy variety.

3) knowledge:

Knowing which foods to eat on any strict diet can be intimidating. I’m just trying to practice right now and I realize I eat tons of carbs still. Crackers (yes gluten free), rice, French fries. Many times I seriously just want the meat and cheese on a plate. I can’t eat practically anywhere as they use flour, grains, or carb laden options. My salmon tacos were amazing today but the chips and beans were bad sides packing on carbs.

Food looks complete different to me now. And probably will forever more. Good news: bacon and butter are fully approved!

So please work with me and don’t be offended when I say I can’t eat something. When I ignore fake and ice cream and even the corn tortillas. (I may need a taco occasionally.) here we go!!!!

Welcome 2017

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Look! I’m still here! 😀 Sorry to have disappeared …

The end of 2016 was a crazy tumble. Not only was I trying to adjust to being a mom, but also a working mom along with trying to have a life beyond the four walls of my living room and TV. I’m gradually catching up, but sometimes this kiddo is too cute and i’m too tired momma-and-austin

So just the same as every year- new year, new diet. But having been through a pregnancy – so my body has several changes. Therefore I am working on trying something new, getting some REAL help and taking things slow. Just to put them down some where– here some things I am working on changing this year:

  1. New OBGYN– yes, while I enjoy the medical center for women in Fullerton… I want a doctor who can actually address my PCOS issues. And sorry modern medicine-but you suck in this realm. I received a referral from a friend at work going through similar problems and I am greatly appreciative but will be driving about an hour away to meet with a new doctor who I have high hopes for to actually help me address my real problems instead of masking them with meds.
  2. I am also starting a new type of diet. Its more transitional with some strict guidelines. Starting in January (now) I have started a diet that gradually takes one bad thing out and one good thing in. This month—its giving up soda (all of it, but at minimum the high sugary stuff) and adding in one veggie into my meals per day. Next month it will be giving up french fries (in addition to the soda) and adding one more veggie.  March 1st (ash Wednesday) will be when I start my strict diet plan. I think I may go paleo or at least work out my Belly Fat Cure Diet. Who knows–i’m talking to my new doctor when i meet with her at the end of the month and hope to have a resolution by Lent.
  3. Looking into mass cleaning of the house. I want to start in one corner and cross the house gradually. This is VERY difficult–due to Austin 🙂
  4. Austin is just starting to explore foods. Nuff said 😉
  5. FInally I want to work in a workout schedule of some sort. It’s hard to figure this out since I am gone at work most of the day.

Losing 

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Over my life—I have experience with losing. I played on last place softball teams for years and was the daughter of a strict substitute teacher who taught my own classes. I also have already lost both my parents (before the age of 30) and have felt the agony of rejection of the popular crowd.
As I write this blog on November 9th—I want to reflect on things I Have learned in losing over the years. While this probably advertises my vote (which I am not ashamed of) …it’s still valuable for any side of the political fence.


1) Losing Sucks: yes—admit it. Cry about it, mourn, have a moment of silence. It is painful to be let down especially when you are from a higher place. But that’s okay. You need to feel it. Keeping it bundled inside only allows for it to boil inside you until you explode with anger or overreact with a lack of safety. For us today as a nation—many are scared for their lives because they lost. It’s okay to feel that … for ahead comes the unknown and the fact that you have to support someone or something you don’t agree with. Or you don’t support it and have to work on fighting it. But always remember to take the time for yourself to digest what is going on emotionally, physically, psychologically, spiritual, etc. but how you react is what you teach others.

2) Keeping doing what you feel is right: I know this sounds ridiculous when you have been defeated but it is good and justice and right that withstand the test of time. My mom used to say if I do the right thing eventually I would be rewarded. I had my bike stolen from my supposed “friend” in the neighborhood and I was let down by a coach in softball for not showing up to the All-Star voting and therefore losing my spot on a team I should have been on. But eventually I got my bike back and made the All Star Softball team my last year I played in rec league. The right will come out or the negative will at least be forgotten or made unimportant. I think this is very applicable with this election because while change is scary—we need hope that our country and its governing process will recover (and hopefully see positive reform for the people without all of us killing each other first.)

And if you need to look at a cute baby or puppy pictures for an hour to feel good again, that’s okay too

3) Try to support the winning side “goodies.”: Many times in softball, a game is lost simply because someone played better. Even with “dirty” methods. But nevertheless, they won. And it is your job even as a loser to cross that field, shake hands and say “good game.” It’s good sportsmanship. And many times the team did a lot of good things. This is also true for all losing. I was bullied as a kid—as in threatened with a knife while walking home from school because I was “fat” and because my mom was too strict. But this kid had a dying parent and struggled as we got older. I always made sure I checked in with his family. I also was contacted as an adult by that kid who stole my bike as a child on facebook. He apologized for all the “stupid” things he did and we remained cordial friends. I was also friends with some of my ex-boyfriends because we were able to be adult about our situations after properly mourning our loss and move on. It doesn’t work for everyone and I understand sometimes this is very hard and takes time to find positives from bad situations. It is not to be entered lightly either. I don’t expect to see people running out to support others who represented things they were opposed to. But it is still a good thing to do. Looking for good in others brings you to common ground. 

UPDATE: As I read this post about a week later…I feel again glad something bigger is speaking through me. I have seen some horrible things this week from across the country in addition to trying to keep my eyes and ears open for what is really going to happen.