Over my life—I have experience with losing. I played on last place softball teams for years and was the daughter of a strict substitute teacher who taught my own classes. I also have already lost both my parents (before the age of 30) and have felt the agony of rejection of the popular crowd.
As I write this blog on November 9th—I want to reflect on things I Have learned in losing over the years. While this probably advertises my vote (which I am not ashamed of) …it’s still valuable for any side of the political fence.
1) Losing Sucks: yes—admit it. Cry about it, mourn, have a moment of silence. It is painful to be let down especially when you are from a higher place. But that’s okay. You need to feel it. Keeping it bundled inside only allows for it to boil inside you until you explode with anger or overreact with a lack of safety. For us today as a nation—many are scared for their lives because they lost. It’s okay to feel that … for ahead comes the unknown and the fact that you have to support someone or something you don’t agree with. Or you don’t support it and have to work on fighting it. But always remember to take the time for yourself to digest what is going on emotionally, physically, psychologically, spiritual, etc. but how you react is what you teach others.
2) Keeping doing what you feel is right: I know this sounds ridiculous when you have been defeated but it is good and justice and right that withstand the test of time. My mom used to say if I do the right thing eventually I would be rewarded. I had my bike stolen from my supposed “friend” in the neighborhood and I was let down by a coach in softball for not showing up to the All-Star voting and therefore losing my spot on a team I should have been on. But eventually I got my bike back and made the All Star Softball team my last year I played in rec league. The right will come out or the negative will at least be forgotten or made unimportant. I think this is very applicable with this election because while change is scary—we need hope that our country and its governing process will recover (and hopefully see positive reform for the people without all of us killing each other first.)
And if you need to look at a cute baby or puppy pictures for an hour to feel good again, that’s okay too
3) Try to support the winning side “goodies.”: Many times in softball, a game is lost simply because someone played better. Even with “dirty” methods. But nevertheless, they won. And it is your job even as a loser to cross that field, shake hands and say “good game.” It’s good sportsmanship. And many times the team did a lot of good things. This is also true for all losing. I was bullied as a kid—as in threatened with a knife while walking home from school because I was “fat” and because my mom was too strict. But this kid had a dying parent and struggled as we got older. I always made sure I checked in with his family. I also was contacted as an adult by that kid who stole my bike as a child on facebook. He apologized for all the “stupid” things he did and we remained cordial friends. I was also friends with some of my ex-boyfriends because we were able to be adult about our situations after properly mourning our loss and move on. It doesn’t work for everyone and I understand sometimes this is very hard and takes time to find positives from bad situations. It is not to be entered lightly either. I don’t expect to see people running out to support others who represented things they were opposed to. But it is still a good thing to do. Looking for good in others brings you to common ground.
UPDATE: As I read this post about a week later…I feel again glad something bigger is speaking through me. I have seen some horrible things this week from across the country in addition to trying to keep my eyes and ears open for what is really going to happen.