To the Advice Column
Since getting pregnant, I ha r Lear Ed a couple things about a topic that should not be so complicated: advice. Thousands of people attempt to share or enforce their insights every signal day and while I try my best to consider the receiver of said advice and their current surroundings, thoughts and experiences, not everyone is so keen.
So for those looking to provide wisdom and insight over the great multitudes or life’s experiences, here are some things to think about
1) reword the negative: of you are going to tel someone advice that may negatively impact them, take great empathy and care in letting them know what you think. Most Advics is personal opinion and you may not know the reasoning why someone is doing something. Think carefully, act graciously.
2) your experience is not truth: we all go thru life differently. We experience things that make look similar to others but are never 100% the same. I see this in claims everyday. But I always help people with the caring thought in mind. This means thinking of their situation first before my own experience. My mom had trouble with this–she may have experienced something but to help you fee better she wouldn’t tell you what to do but tell you her life situation and how she reacted. Not always the best solution. People like to know that you are walking with them and not from where they have been.
3) please PLEASE do your research: I don’t just mean on the topic…but on the person your advising. While my single no kid friends provide insight, I will probably look to my friends with recently birthed children for the best advice. Mostly because they have the most up to date research. And I fact check as well. I have some family who is frustrated I want to breast feed my child for a year because they feel I can’t do it while working. Not only did they just exclude thousands of women who breast-feed and work every year, but this person also failed to take into account my own opinion on the subject or any research showing the benefits and importance of breast feeding and why it should be a priority. Oh, did I mention it’s my body producing the milk? So I will be making the decision.
4) leave your advice at the floor and remain calm: sometimes people take your advice and sometimes they don’t. You need to be willing to except this. People should be allowed to make their own decisions and supported and whatever decision they choose to make if well thought out. Even if it is different from your own. Now I know there are exceptions to this rule. If someone is choosing to do drugs or do harm to themselves advice is not what you give but healthier and more adequate solution may be needed. But when advising I knew mother how to care for her child – – sometimes the words are best left on the table for the mother and father to choose.
Good luck everyone!–give good advice!
Musings of An AfterThought 