My maternal clock that is!
So, it is absolutely beautiful to see old and recent friends having their first, second, sometimes third child. This coming from a child of a mother who was told she could not have kids, has been told that it might be a similar problem for her and that she is 30 years old with no toddlers. Don’t get me wrong–the last one is by choice on multiple levels. However, GAME ON when i graduate 🙂
Anyways–I just wanted to express some of the things I have learned and will probably be incorporating into my (hopefully) future child-bearing times. This is important to me because both my parents have passed–so the experience and resources most people get from their mothers and fathers I will be searching for in my friends and other family. So, truly to me, the birth of your children and your insights are a pleasant read.
First with the birth. I have several medical issues. Some totally irrelated to having a child but some not so much and because I do not want anything crazy going on with myself or my husband (for that matter), I am choosing to have a child in a hospital. Luckily that is becoming not a threatening thing. Though a home birth would be, let’s say, an accomplishment–I do not feel comfortable with the idea just yet and unfortunately definitely not comfortable with anything like a water birth. (I concede that this may change but for now…) Again, that being said-I plan on having the most natural birth as possible. Meaning no medication unless I’m about to die or the baby is. (and if any of you start the “oh you’ll say differently when you have a baby…” crap–there are thousands of women who do this every day with medical doctors or nurses and it has worked for thousands of years. don’t push me.) I have decided this mainly for the reason that when I got a shot in a similar location once, I jumped and I do not need that risk if I try to get a epidural. Secondly because I do feel birthing, mothering, and everything associated with it are part of our beauty as created beings of God, whether “pretty” or not and thirdly–i’ve been told that gall bladder attacks are worse than pregnancy pain and since i’ve lived through those–i’m not scared of what’s in store. (again, i concede the scared part)
Second with homelife. Surprisingly, Shawn and I have talked several hours about this–things we would do and not do and frankly–its actually determined by watching YOU! I mean you parents with smaller children. There are some things done extremely well (natural/attachment parenting/whatever you want to call it) and there are some that are just irritating (that will remain anonymous). Here are some afterthoughts:
1) Clothe diapers. Thought the idea totally frightens me–I know it can be done and Shawn and I really like the idea. Plus I HATE seeing disposal diapers everywhere. gross on so many levels and not helping the environment. So we have agreed on this and if our trends of washing continue, it should not be difficult. Plus I have resources on what to do properly, etc…from good friends with multiple children. just an afterthought—potty training remove this… maybe a prayer for being about to take care of our own child NOT in daycare will help or a day care that works with clothe? I have no idea–a bridge to cross later.
2) Breastfeeding. I plan on doing this the most natural way possible. I am worried, though, that because we both work that doing this for any length of time may be a challenge if not possible. However, considering we have a probability of having a lactose intolerant kid (both of use have sensitivities), I personally would like to breastfeed for as long as possible compatible with what is reasonable. Contrast: I do not want to be breast feeding a 5 yr old.
3) Hygiene : now–i know there are some things you must do when it comes to kids, especially newborns. However, Shawn and I have also been very clear that we will NOT be the parents running around after our kids with Purel. Why? because despite the organic, super hygiene mantra, most of the world DOESN’T live like that and we do want our child to be acclimated. They also need to build up immunity against things (not when their immune system is growing, but later) It’s also logistics. Also, I cannot tell you how many myth busters and biology shows i have watched stating that those stupid anti-baterial soaps don’t actually clean your hands, they just spread the junk around. You want to be clean? WASH your hands, soap, warm water and DRY them with a towel or clothe. This cleanses and actually picks up the germs off your hands. Dryers don’t’ fully remove (again–thank you Myth busters) [[gradually steps down from soapbox]]
5) Education: this is a heart string for me. What I want to do: homeschool. But rules in CA and personal experiences unfortunately make that not as practical. Hence why we are moving to an area with good schools before the kids come. It’s our top priority. I will also be fairly adamant about education at home. Shawn is very street smart, I’m very book smart and together, we’re both just smart. Plus I had a 4th-grade teacher for a mother who taught me things like “once kids start walking get a sturdy pair of shoes” so they walk proper or how to handle your kids in public. I’m also doing some minor reading on the “attachment parenting” style. (sorry for the title, but it is the best quick description)–I personally think half the stuff they do is normal and natural. That’s all I want. Children are influenced enough by everything else in the world. least I can contribute in a healthy way.
I feel better now that i have released those into blog-world. Though birth is beautiful–knowing my age and probability of having children watching everyone else have kids is a little depressing at times. I love children. I should have gone into teaching elementary because i love them so much. And I want to use my brain with them–hopefully treating them like proper children whatever age they are. I use this approach with my dogs (which has its similarities.) I do not talk baby to them, I speak straight forward (when I get the best result) but I speak to them. Anyone remember the discussion about the dog dying in “What Dreams May Come…?” You have to face reality, learn to accept it and yet still be passionate about it. And with God–what could make it better? (oh blessed party)