I grew up never part of a real group. I belonged to several groups of people: girl scouts, softball, school, church, camp, you name it. But i never truly associated myself with one group. And I also tried very hard to not let one group define my entire character. Something I would like to review…
People form groups. Its our nature. Almost like animal packs. And yes, you can use any Twilight, tween fiction, high school drama idea to define that idea. Even adults do this–we have our work groups, our church groups. sometimes they overlap. Yet-if someone else saw us-they typically look at use through our groups. You know what I think of this
And you know why? Well, here’s an example.
When I was in college, we have a LGBT group on campus, just as most colleges do. If you came to notice, several members of this group were NOT lesbians, gay, bi or transgendered. In fact, several members were fairly straight-meaning not even curious beyond a doubt. But yet-if they told someone they were part of this group-they were automatically judged on their sexual orientation. And while it may be helpful for those that are seeking support in trying to deal with such personal issues, for those solid in their preference, it could be harmful (i mean this on any sexual platform.)
THe whole point is that people use groups to define who others are. And that it not always the case. Those straight people who were part of the LGBT group were there because they wanted to be the support group. They had a friend who was struggling and wanted to know how to be a better friend to them. They wanted rights for the group. NOT because they themselves were lesbians or gays.
Or maybe this is a little easier idea to chew on — I have been part of several employee motivation teams in my work years. I enjoy making work fun. However, because I am on these teams, sometimes it feels like I am the only one responsible for the fun. This is FAR from the truth. Making work fun requires the EMPLOYEE to learn how to enjoy it, not a committee or group telling them what to do. We’re just the think tank. Or the organizers who facilitate the things people want to enjoy as a group. But not the fun itself.
In conclusion–do not let the groups define you. Become your own definition.