So today I was going to re-begin my diet process. Yes, I again quote failed at the dieting thing. But I realized i had prepared to start on a monday but then was encouraged just to start the next day. I did not get to say goodbye to my favorite foods and constantly have struggled with wanting to enjoy things I miss. So I let myself go–in a bad way. But you want to know what? It was the happiest I have felt in a LONG time regarding eating. If I can only convince myself how horrible eating bad is and get passed that, I would do better at eating healthy. But its not a lifestyle change, its a food-tasting change. And moderation–I’m sorry its the holidays and I get this urge not to moderate…oh well. So I decided to let today go and try again tomorrow. I don’t have veggies so it puts me at a real disadvantage. But I need to get back to eating food at home so I am going to work on that so I have nothing but my meals left. (still have not broke into the hidden stash in the garage fridge.)
I also had a problem doing any homework tonight. I am usually productive. I have finished the two papers that are due this weekend (Friday/Saturday) but I was frustrated to learn I forgot to write a title page for a paper I needed all the points I could get (just trying to accept is was not my best effort) and that I just lack any energy/motivation to do any readying right now. And it just terrifies me that next week i have finals (which is a term paper due monday luckily on comparing two books, one of which I read before class started and another I have not even looked at along with a research paper luckily we were required to complete for a forum post.). I did listen to the lectures online but all I really want to get into was about Judaism in the 20th century instead of writing about theology of religions from an Evangelical standpoint ( honestly–I hate the categories we use in religion. Evangelical has so many meanings–and personally I care not be with some in one side of the group.)
Lastly, its that emotional time of year. That time when you remember things, get all “thankful” and such. Right now, I’d be happy with food, not obtaining calories and just chilling on Catalina island with my doggies if possible. Oh well, such is life. Some days you feel very much like the fly on the windshield.
P.S.–I know you all are very supportive and encouraging. But comments may be taken wrong or not at all so please keep them to a minimum.