I dated my current husband for 6 years. And after 6 years of financial, emotional and scholastic struggles it was a beautiful blessing to commit before family & friends my desire to stay with Shawn for the rest of my life. It was amazing. It was the best day of my life. And grant it I’ve only been married 4 months (and i’ve already made some statements about kids and exercise), I do have some interesting points I would like to make:
1) Though I love my church community, there is something lacking in almost EVERY church I’ve attended in the last 7-10 years (which is probably close to 5 different types.) There is minimal support for people who have graduated college to the time couples have children (and yes, I mean ONLY couples.) And it makes it twice as difficult because where I went to undergrad–I had a strong community in several Christian college groups that practically fall off the face of the planet when I graduated. And to be honest–THAT’S when young adults need the support. I know the 6 months between when I left the University to when I moved back to Caliofrnia I could have used a group of support to help with my struggles and to reminder me about God involved in my life. And to teach me how to grow with God.
2) Our church, culture and communities need to stop preparing people only to live from college and kids. Though the church does this more on a silent level–our culture is barely supporting the idea that adults can live on their own without children. Or that they can grow as people between college and kids. And it was worse half a century ago. Children are not the sole source of life–Life begins with God. And sometimes the young adult generation needs that reminder, even beyond college. Before kids come along. Before they have to represent what it means to follow Christ to a smaller human being. I personally think this is going to be my goal over the next years before we have children. I don’t plan to learn all the answers about following God–but at least I am learning even in the past 6 years what it means to walk with Him before I begin teaching this to a smaller me. (And I guarantee I will not know all the answers by then, either…)
3) If there is one good thing I have learned, it is that if God has created you to be something–it will come. I spent many years truly desiring to be married and even though I have only been married a short time–I have loved EVERY minute. I have realized this is what I have been waiting for. That God created me to be living married and to help my spouse learn to live in Christ as he helps me. And if that includes kids later, than praise be! But if it doesn’t, then praise be too! I think that is foreign concept for most followers. That we should follow where God leads and live what He has created you to be. I know people who are walking with God who are single, who are 40+ and just getting married, or plan on never having children and that doesn’t make them less of a follower than the next person.
So maybe as time moves on… more thoughts on Living with a Living God will expand.