Since my marriage… I have been spending a lot of time pondering on what my role as a married woman should be. I see so many women who have either left off the married part or disregarded their individuality that I know I wanted to make sure I confirmed my definition of who I am and learn to stick to it. I also wanted to make sure I kept my own identity as Sara, child of God along with the title as “Mrs.” — its what I committed to when I married Shawn. And until recently, I thought this meant NEVER (and i truly mean never) becoming the domesticated woman.
However, over the last few weeks, things have started to “change” per se, and I have done things like laundry for both of us, cooked dinner frequently (Shawn had to remind me of this last night since we have spent the last week only going out twice and had not even paid for a meal gratefully.) I have realized it is my nature, without dispute or anger, to want to do things around the house. By definition, i have truly become “helpful”for Shawn. I know this will not last all the time, or forever, but in my vows I know I committed to at least put Shawn first, love him and walk through life with him. So it got me thinking…
God created woman to be the helper of man. Not meaning man would do nothing and woman does everything (probably close to the modern picture above…) Just being helpful where I can. For me, ironically, this meant sharing my love for cooking (i love doing anything in the kitchen, especially baking and love trying new things.) It also means taking care of myself (doing laundry is a necessity as we need clean clothes–and since both of us needed this I didn’t feel burdened to do this.) And as I said–last night Shawn mentioned I had cooked everything all day, that he appreicated that, and recommended that I just pick up something on the way home from dropping off my friends. I thought–WOW! I’m so glad I married this guy (i’ve been saying this a lot, which is comforting to me since I was extremely nervous of making my life-long commitment to another human [God is easy–God is God.]
I am called now to be a married woman, to help my husband where he needs and to still keep true to the identity and self that God has created me to be. I am not called to be any less than this. I am not called to slave away and fulfill my husband’s every wish without considering what I want. I think this is what kind of picture Genesis was meant to provide. That the couple together as one support each other, are equally joined who God created them to be, separate individuals joined as one to equally support and love one another in their journeys with God and with each other.
Genesis 2:7-8;18-25 Then the LORD God formed man of adust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and bman became a living 1being. 8 And the LORD God planted a agarden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed…18-Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; aI will make him a helper 1suitable for him.” 19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the 1sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the 1sky, and to every beast of the field, but for 2Adam there was not found a helper 3suitable for him. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 And the LORD God 1fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23 And the man said,
“aThis is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because 1she was taken out of Man.”
24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
I pray that every married woman can at least strive to be the woman God created them to be. And may the same be for their spouses who have the same demand from Genesis, from God. Yay for being married! — I pray that everyone who is married can keep this shout of joy within their hearts year-round.