As the election gradually approaches, I thought it may be appropriate to post about some politics. Typically I am not super involved in discussions online about this topic. However, this year, it appears to be a much more important issue.
Politics has never excited me–mostly because I refuse to play the political games most politicians play. Personally– I believe parties are a waste of time and categories. I would like to just vote for one person for president, one person for VP and so on. Like when you were in grade school. Everyone campaigned individually and whoever got the most votes won for each position. Grant it sometimes it was a popularity contest–but some times people got voted in because the majority thought they could seriously do a good job. Yes-it would be long process. Maybe November/Voting would be taken more seriously. Yes-it might mean that people of different backgrounds & ideals would have to work together. But I get sick and tired of the junk thrown around on TV & online confusing me and trying to get me to choose who to elect. Our government needs to work together to strength our country and build relationships domestically AND foreign while striving to provide and protect us. (there are political positions I take against several topics related to these statements but I will leave that out of the conversation for now.)
Also– I want to vote for honest people. I don’t even know if that exists anymore. IT sucks–because I literally stare at the ballot dazed, saddened and utterly confused. I feel like the people who would do a good job in government offices either can get through the red tape or can’t finance it themselves because of the current affairs of politics. Watch any political movie or TV show like West Wing, The American President or even Designated Survivor. This show displays very well what happens when the “political game” or club of Washington DC is wiped out (dramatically of course) and a simple honest man who just wanted to help people gets thrown into the Lions Den (per se.) It’s almost reality TV. Seriously. I vote because 1) I want a say and 2) it matters. I don’t want to vote because 1) I hate the choices and 2) I hate the process.
So unfortunately it is these two opinions I have about politics that make 2016 a VERY hard year for me. I thought I knew who I wanted and what I supported. But everything has been turned sideways each time I turn on the TV. I refuse to vote for someone because I was told to vote for them (huge supporter of making a good decision when voting…) and I just can’t keep up with the junk that is appearing about the candidates. IT’s harder seeing friends choose to support certain people or propositions knowing they are probably just choosing the lesser of the two evils. South Park nailed it–again. Good luck America–we’re going to need it this election year.
So I am gradually welcoming myself back to the land of the living. Since the birth of Austin–it has been a whirlwind of learning his habits, his necessities and his milestones while trying to keep my head somewhere in the range of my body (because expecting it to be even slightly screwed on somewhere is a joke at this point.) is a miracle.
I will say that I have a learned a lot from having a child. So here I will leave you with little tidbits I have learned so far (remember first time mother who DOES NOT know what the hell she’s doing sometimes.)
- Make you Aware whether it be an oversensitivity to every sound and image in and around your home and community, i can definitely say that over the past few months my ears, eyes and thoughts have been tuning into everything Austin. The TV is always too loud, the lights too bright, the details too shocking. And while I would like to think some of these things don’t affect him– in reality all nurturing affects the nurtured in some way. I just know I want to give him the best environment to thrive in the best way. And yet-at the same time love him for every ounce that he is–or will be–or whatever. It’s a crazy thought when I go thru “how do I tell him about such and such” or “what do I say when he asks about that?” I know i’ll figure it out or at least admit I can’t and try to be the best mother to my son. That’s all one can ask for.
- Secret Code parenting and babies have secret codes. Smiley faces with tongues sticking out and goggly eyes are not always happy signals but sometimes presents down below. There is clearly a language between little baby mothers for when I was at Disneyland–the three week old baby mother and myself (7 week old austin) could look at each other without saying a word and knew where we each were–sleepless & exhausted with hungry but joyful kids. Maybe its because our children are closer in age… but even the older children parents know what is going on and its a comfort to know you’re not alone. Actually–its a bigger comfort to know that you aren’t the only one who has gone thru sleepless nights, disgusting cleanups (either of food or something else) or even a stressed out/tantrum kiddo. My biggest accomplishment as a mom: admitting I do not have my shit together–at all.
- Being Prepared is not just a Lion King song Luckily I haven’t run into this too often… but i will say when you’re without formula, without a diaper, without a blanket–even at this age can be daunting. You get creative and crafty — and I swear its only going to get worse in having a small human being.
- In the End–All of Life is worth it! No matter how many poopy diapers I change or spit up shirts i wash– it will all be worth it in the end. I keep telling myself this because there are moments I want to cry and just press pause for a few minutes so I can breathe or sleep or eat. Luckily my husband, friends and family are all really good about redirecting my focus to the right locations. That God does good things (insert all applicable bible verses here about surviving life’s challenges) and that in the end watching my child grow will be all worth it. It’s a crazy thought to realize I brought a tiny human into the world and that it will be my responsibility to take care of him. And to be a parent means you would do anything for your child–whether it be starve & suffer or celebrate and share.
Dear Austin–I can’t wait to see what life has in store for you! Remember I will always be your mommie (from 1-100) and will always seek for you the good in life.
So begins the countdown for maternity leave. Our first child has a little less than 2 months while its kind of scary and exciting–I am definitely getting close to more doctors appointments (3-4x/week) and trying to get rest.
So as my leave approaches, my OCD-persona has started to kick in trying to figure out a schedule that will keep my brain going but not stress me out. So I decided I’m going to make a “home school” for myself so I can spend some time each day readings/writing and learning something so I don’t get mental bored. Or tired of the TV. Or sucked into a whole show like Game of Thrones for three weeks or something.. (Not saying those are entirely bad…) plus being diabetic a schedule such as this will keep me on track with eating and sugar monitoring.
So, here it goes:
Between 7a-9am: wake up, doing morning tests and have breakfast (what’s nice is I won’t feel rushed and can make whatever I want but at the same time need to be ready.I only have one appointment during this hour so it will free up my day for other things and keep me on track.
9a-12pm: religious studies. Yeah, I know most people are like “what the hell?” but-what I mean by this is get out my Greek and Hebrew and get back into my theological studies topics. I have several doctors appointments during these hours, including “sitting” appointments where I can do some reading.I also might go searching for audio books and alternative methods of learning during this time.
11a-2pm; lunch, more monitoring and general relaxing. This will be the most flexible time since I have appointments during these hours and will have need the time to eat. Also, t is possible Shawn will have lunch himself so we shall see what’s going on.
1pm-4pm:Book Stuff. Either spending an hour writing in my book or reading our book group’s choice for the month. Trust me–I will have plenty to do. I wanted flexibility here too because of my appointments (I have several at 1:15-2pm)
evenings: spending time with shawn and working on meals. That’s pretty much not going to change.
Now I know you previous on leave mothers are laughing and giggling–knowing I may never get to any of this depending on my appointments and my level of energy. I may clean one day instead… in spurts of 20-30 minutes and take several breaks as we need to do some deep cleaning around the house. I also need to finish Kiddo’s room. I might spending 2-3 days just working on laundry. And I do NOT plan on stressing myself out so if one day I do nothing–that’s perfect fine too. I’ve realized getting too stressed out is not a good idea.
But’s its nice to be optimistic, right?😀
For several weeks, I have struggled with a certain “current affairs ” topic trying to define what has made me so frustrated and upset. While some may figure out what I’m talking about–I prefer to keep it nameless. However, I finally figured out what term describes what I’m frustrated about. And let me tell you–its a true blessing to be able to define something that’s bothering you.
Yes, the one thing that has bothered me is the exploitation of this current event. Actually–this bothers me in most places and probably why it extremely bothered me in this case. Maybe its because I personally don’t want to be exploited and do not like other people being exploited. Maybe its because consumerism is basically the exploitation of things to try & attempt to get the masses to buy more and that is frustrating that companies don’t put people & their concerns or real needs first.
Anyways. naming this has seriously been a relief. In fact, I was able to understand my frustrations and work towards letting it go– a.k.a. listening to U2’s “Bad” help me unbottle my frustrations and “let it go!” (in not the frozen terms.)
Being a muse of a chef–ever since I have been diagnosed with Gestational diabetes I have been trying to find ways to get creative with my meals. Seriously–one of my friends who also had GD talked about how she ate the same thing every day and I think I bug-eyed out of pure shock. With so many good, healthy foods in the world and so many tastes–how can you say eat the same thing!? (I say this to all who eat the same stuff every day. Seriously. The world is variety. Love it!)
So… first I went searching for a diabetic way to cook my chicken legs. We have a package of 12 drumsticks in the freezer I decided to thaw out one day and needed a “glaze” of sorts I could apply to the chicken so they don’t just come out plain jane. I did this with the chicken breasts and plain baked chicken only works for me on a salad level.
Search results? one word…sucky. Seriously I know these exist. There have got to be ways to cook chicken legs/drumsticks with flavor and no massive amount of sugar or breadcrumbs. seriously.
I moved on and figured I would move on/come back to searching later. Instead, I looked up the meal delivery services and wondered “hey-maybe they have a diabetic option” where they send you the food for the meals specific to diabetic needs and then you don’t have to worry about how many carbs are in what, how much fat is too much but not enough, etc. So I searched again. What did I find… again.. NOTHING!
Honestly–this stuff has to or should exist. I am trying to get some serious help without having to buy a book or register online to a magazine to do it. Doctors wonder why diabetics maybe have a hard time with monitoring their sugar? Because the world limits what they can do. ARGH!!!!
If you have any suggestions, please let me know! I’m not a good enough cook to know how to just through things together with chicken or look at something and think “that’s about a tablespoon” just yet. I want to get there but there’s a reason I keep measuring cups on the counter instead of in a drawer. Once my kid gets old enough I’m teaching good baking skills. Seriously (sorry i’m having a minor OMG moment!)
So it’s been about 10 days since I meet with my educator and started working out this diabetic diet. And while I have eaten out little, lost 3lbs and have enjoyed making things…
I AM EXHAUSTED
Seriously! I can’t get up and run out the door anymore. I can’t just say “let’s go out” without having some thought as to where and what I’m eating. And while I can make room for cupcakes and cookies…I seriously haven’t eat anything since I started this.
If you want an idea of what I go through, here’s my sheet of when I am supposed to eat, what I’m eating and when I’m taking my blood sugar. Yes–confused? I know I am. The carbs are just for he starch monitoring, the oz in protein is not actually that but grams and i personally try to follow the sample meals.
But my morning numbers are still high and I fee completely stressed by trying to keep to this diet so my kid doesn’t come out 12lbs or have low blood sugar. I am so much one of those people who tries to eliminate any reason to have a negative response or excuse yet I know at some point I cannot control everything and especially cannot control my morning levels because that is strictly hormonal.
What I really want to do?? Go lay down and eat a tub of ice cream with a rice bowl of Chinese food. One day I guess…one day
Some time ago–I wrote about learning about something called multipotentialism. It is a term coined recently to refer to those who are more a jack or Jill of all trades. A renaissance person. Basically-me. As our child’s arrival fast approaches, I have been thinking about all the things that go into raising a child. And this is where it begins to get difficult because I want to show how you can do all things…literally🙂
So, just to recap–here are a list of my “options” (you know, like a car, i’m the special edition package.)
- I work in the insurance industry-in claims. Meaning I know how to read a car estimate, about how much things cost, how basic driving law works and how it applies to accidents. I also work for a company that offers multiple things (like travel, insurance, roadside assistance, etc) Seriously I am in the best environment right now for someone who wants to learn multiple subjects at once.
- I am a certified dog trainer and love all animals. We have two dogs, a rabbit and 3 hamsters. I love learning about how to raise all kinds of pets, whether typical or not. I worked at Petsmart for a short time and volunteered with an excellent German Shepherd rescue for 4 years. I take pet owning very seriously.
- I am musically talented. And not just in one medium. I sing, play basic piano (thank you mom for lessons and basic theory), play mainly clarinet and flute but have played every woodwind instrument except bassoon (which includes flute, clarinet, soprano thru baritone sax, bass clarinet, oboe and piccolo.) I also own a mandolin that I do not exactly play well but have learned some basic cords and just need practice.
- I love reading. Or at least know how to encourage it. Watch out child–momma’s coming with a whole ton of books!
- I have a Masters and Bachelors degree in Theology. My true passion is the church. Learning, helping, loving through it, you name it. Honestly. When I was in seminary the director actually wondered if there was a cot in the room I just slept in because I wanted to be there so much. I love teaching and showing my love for my faith, all church history and theology. I am very interested in learning about peoples’ beliefs and how they affect all of us. And if you say your beliefs are not important–you’re only lying to yourself. Your beliefs, whether religious or not, are what you think about the world and they control what you value and practice.
- I am VERY geeky. I love Star Wars, enjoy Star Trek (ugh thanks to my husband), love Harry Potter, Groot, Hawkeye, have actually purchased comic books outside the popular characters, have gone to Comic Con NOT for the crazy celebrities and think science and math are fun/cool. I also like to paint, hand ave enough art supplies for a small classroom ( i love making things-ya know DIY stuff.)
- I LOVE LOVE LOVE learning. Seriously. About anything. I fully admitted to my husband last year I wanted to learn Excel/Numbers, coding and iPad/Apple Watch/iPhone app making. Its where the world is headed people–we need to catch up! I also like my husband’s degree in biological psychology and learning about how our minds work with our emotions. In fact, that leads to my next point.
- My husband got a degree in screenwriting and of course the next thing I want to do is write a book. OH, did I mention I have 3 actually plotted out (partially written, structure verified chapters done, etc.) I have one subscription that helps me learn how to write a book (that I think I will read/finish when I go on leave) I actually also enjoy lesson planning, organization and have thought about looking into professional “planning” certification. (i always have too much fun planning for weddings/parties/etc.) This incorporates a lot of writing and actually I enjoy teaching occasionally related to this very topic.
- My mother and father had extreme health problems so I actually have a basic knowledge of some medical stuff. This is not an excuse to not go to a doctor… as they have the experience. But at least I know how to use big terms and maybe explain it down *very helpful for a young child in the future*
So I’m sure there is more that I have forgotten. I’m pregnant-ya know? But the main concern is trying to show my own child that he can do all this and more. That he doesn’t have to love just ONE thing. Or he can love ONE thing and that’s okay too. I don’t understand specialization as I am not a person who wants to specialize but gather all the thoughts/info/things. But I definitely want to teach my son that he does not have to conform to societies request that you can only be good at one thing your entire life. (wow that just sounds so drone-ish to me.)
I’m sure it will work itself out when he arrives. Honestly–Shawn and I both are people who have our resources and I would consider himself multipotential as well. This kid I swear is going to be definitely an interesting character when he gets here🙂