So begins the countdown for maternity leave. Our first child has a little less than 2 months while its kind of scary and exciting–I am definitely getting close to more doctors appointments (3-4x/week) and trying to get rest.
So as my leave approaches, my OCD-persona has started to kick in trying to figure out a schedule that will keep my brain going but not stress me out. So I decided I’m going to make a “home school” for myself so I can spend some time each day readings/writing and learning something so I don’t get mental bored. Or tired of the TV. Or sucked into a whole show like Game of Thrones for three weeks or something.. (Not saying those are entirely bad…) plus being diabetic a schedule such as this will keep me on track with eating and sugar monitoring.
So, here it goes:
Between 7a-9am: wake up, doing morning tests and have breakfast (what’s nice is I won’t feel rushed and can make whatever I want but at the same time need to be ready.I only have one appointment during this hour so it will free up my day for other things and keep me on track.
9a-12pm: religious studies. Yeah, I know most people are like “what the hell?” but-what I mean by this is get out my Greek and Hebrew and get back into my theological studies topics. I have several doctors appointments during these hours, including “sitting” appointments where I can do some reading.I also might go searching for audio books and alternative methods of learning during this time.
11a-2pm; lunch, more monitoring and general relaxing. This will be the most flexible time since I have appointments during these hours and will have need the time to eat. Also, t is possible Shawn will have lunch himself so we shall see what’s going on.
1pm-4pm:Book Stuff. Either spending an hour writing in my book or reading our book group’s choice for the month. Trust me–I will have plenty to do. I wanted flexibility here too because of my appointments (I have several at 1:15-2pm)
evenings: spending time with shawn and working on meals. That’s pretty much not going to change.
Now I know you previous on leave mothers are laughing and giggling–knowing I may never get to any of this depending on my appointments and my level of energy. I may clean one day instead… in spurts of 20-30 minutes and take several breaks as we need to do some deep cleaning around the house. I also need to finish Kiddo’s room. I might spending 2-3 days just working on laundry. And I do NOT plan on stressing myself out so if one day I do nothing–that’s perfect fine too. I’ve realized getting too stressed out is not a good idea.
But’s its nice to be optimistic, right?😀
For several weeks, I have struggled with a certain “current affairs ” topic trying to define what has made me so frustrated and upset. While some may figure out what I’m talking about–I prefer to keep it nameless. However, I finally figured out what term describes what I’m frustrated about. And let me tell you–its a true blessing to be able to define something that’s bothering you.
Yes, the one thing that has bothered me is the exploitation of this current event. Actually–this bothers me in most places and probably why it extremely bothered me in this case. Maybe its because I personally don’t want to be exploited and do not like other people being exploited. Maybe its because consumerism is basically the exploitation of things to try & attempt to get the masses to buy more and that is frustrating that companies don’t put people & their concerns or real needs first.
Anyways. naming this has seriously been a relief. In fact, I was able to understand my frustrations and work towards letting it go– a.k.a. listening to U2’s “Bad” help me unbottle my frustrations and “let it go!” (in not the frozen terms.)
Being a muse of a chef–ever since I have been diagnosed with Gestational diabetes I have been trying to find ways to get creative with my meals. Seriously–one of my friends who also had GD talked about how she ate the same thing every day and I think I bug-eyed out of pure shock. With so many good, healthy foods in the world and so many tastes–how can you say eat the same thing!? (I say this to all who eat the same stuff every day. Seriously. The world is variety. Love it!)
So… first I went searching for a diabetic way to cook my chicken legs. We have a package of 12 drumsticks in the freezer I decided to thaw out one day and needed a “glaze” of sorts I could apply to the chicken so they don’t just come out plain jane. I did this with the chicken breasts and plain baked chicken only works for me on a salad level.
Search results? one word…sucky. Seriously I know these exist. There have got to be ways to cook chicken legs/drumsticks with flavor and no massive amount of sugar or breadcrumbs. seriously.
I moved on and figured I would move on/come back to searching later. Instead, I looked up the meal delivery services and wondered “hey-maybe they have a diabetic option” where they send you the food for the meals specific to diabetic needs and then you don’t have to worry about how many carbs are in what, how much fat is too much but not enough, etc. So I searched again. What did I find… again.. NOTHING!
Honestly–this stuff has to or should exist. I am trying to get some serious help without having to buy a book or register online to a magazine to do it. Doctors wonder why diabetics maybe have a hard time with monitoring their sugar? Because the world limits what they can do. ARGH!!!!
If you have any suggestions, please let me know! I’m not a good enough cook to know how to just through things together with chicken or look at something and think “that’s about a tablespoon” just yet. I want to get there but there’s a reason I keep measuring cups on the counter instead of in a drawer. Once my kid gets old enough I’m teaching good baking skills. Seriously (sorry i’m having a minor OMG moment!)
So it’s been about 10 days since I meet with my educator and started working out this diabetic diet. And while I have eaten out little, lost 3lbs and have enjoyed making things…
I AM EXHAUSTED
Seriously! I can’t get up and run out the door anymore. I can’t just say “let’s go out” without having some thought as to where and what I’m eating. And while I can make room for cupcakes and cookies…I seriously haven’t eat anything since I started this.
If you want an idea of what I go through, here’s my sheet of when I am supposed to eat, what I’m eating and when I’m taking my blood sugar. Yes–confused? I know I am. The carbs are just for he starch monitoring, the oz in protein is not actually that but grams and i personally try to follow the sample meals.
But my morning numbers are still high and I fee completely stressed by trying to keep to this diet so my kid doesn’t come out 12lbs or have low blood sugar. I am so much one of those people who tries to eliminate any reason to have a negative response or excuse yet I know at some point I cannot control everything and especially cannot control my morning levels because that is strictly hormonal.
What I really want to do?? Go lay down and eat a tub of ice cream with a rice bowl of Chinese food. One day I guess…one day
Some time ago–I wrote about learning about something called multipotentialism. It is a term coined recently to refer to those who are more a jack or Jill of all trades. A renaissance person. Basically-me. As our child’s arrival fast approaches, I have been thinking about all the things that go into raising a child. And this is where it begins to get difficult because I want to show how you can do all things…literally🙂
So, just to recap–here are a list of my “options” (you know, like a car, i’m the special edition package.)
- I work in the insurance industry-in claims. Meaning I know how to read a car estimate, about how much things cost, how basic driving law works and how it applies to accidents. I also work for a company that offers multiple things (like travel, insurance, roadside assistance, etc) Seriously I am in the best environment right now for someone who wants to learn multiple subjects at once.
- I am a certified dog trainer and love all animals. We have two dogs, a rabbit and 3 hamsters. I love learning about how to raise all kinds of pets, whether typical or not. I worked at Petsmart for a short time and volunteered with an excellent German Shepherd rescue for 4 years. I take pet owning very seriously.
- I am musically talented. And not just in one medium. I sing, play basic piano (thank you mom for lessons and basic theory), play mainly clarinet and flute but have played every woodwind instrument except bassoon (which includes flute, clarinet, soprano thru baritone sax, bass clarinet, oboe and piccolo.) I also own a mandolin that I do not exactly play well but have learned some basic cords and just need practice.
- I love reading. Or at least know how to encourage it. Watch out child–momma’s coming with a whole ton of books!
- I have a Masters and Bachelors degree in Theology. My true passion is the church. Learning, helping, loving through it, you name it. Honestly. When I was in seminary the director actually wondered if there was a cot in the room I just slept in because I wanted to be there so much. I love teaching and showing my love for my faith, all church history and theology. I am very interested in learning about peoples’ beliefs and how they affect all of us. And if you say your beliefs are not important–you’re only lying to yourself. Your beliefs, whether religious or not, are what you think about the world and they control what you value and practice.
- I am VERY geeky. I love Star Wars, enjoy Star Trek (ugh thanks to my husband), love Harry Potter, Groot, Hawkeye, have actually purchased comic books outside the popular characters, have gone to Comic Con NOT for the crazy celebrities and think science and math are fun/cool. I also like to paint, hand ave enough art supplies for a small classroom ( i love making things-ya know DIY stuff.)
- I LOVE LOVE LOVE learning. Seriously. About anything. I fully admitted to my husband last year I wanted to learn Excel/Numbers, coding and iPad/Apple Watch/iPhone app making. Its where the world is headed people–we need to catch up! I also like my husband’s degree in biological psychology and learning about how our minds work with our emotions. In fact, that leads to my next point.
- My husband got a degree in screenwriting and of course the next thing I want to do is write a book. OH, did I mention I have 3 actually plotted out (partially written, structure verified chapters done, etc.) I have one subscription that helps me learn how to write a book (that I think I will read/finish when I go on leave) I actually also enjoy lesson planning, organization and have thought about looking into professional “planning” certification. (i always have too much fun planning for weddings/parties/etc.) This incorporates a lot of writing and actually I enjoy teaching occasionally related to this very topic.
- My mother and father had extreme health problems so I actually have a basic knowledge of some medical stuff. This is not an excuse to not go to a doctor… as they have the experience. But at least I know how to use big terms and maybe explain it down *very helpful for a young child in the future*
So I’m sure there is more that I have forgotten. I’m pregnant-ya know? But the main concern is trying to show my own child that he can do all this and more. That he doesn’t have to love just ONE thing. Or he can love ONE thing and that’s okay too. I don’t understand specialization as I am not a person who wants to specialize but gather all the thoughts/info/things. But I definitely want to teach my son that he does not have to conform to societies request that you can only be good at one thing your entire life. (wow that just sounds so drone-ish to me.)
I’m sure it will work itself out when he arrives. Honestly–Shawn and I both are people who have our resources and I would consider himself multipotential as well. This kid I swear is going to be definitely an interesting character when he gets here🙂
Two weeks ago I found out that my glucose levels (blood sugar) were high and therefore I am being treated for gestational diabetes. While I know I have diabetic friends and people who have experienced this–I want to express some things…with as little judgment as possible.
This is a serious issue to me. Besides it affect the size and health of my baby…I have medical issues that made getting pregnant difficult that are VERY much related to insulin, hormones and being diabetic. This is a very personal diagnosis to the point that food can affect everyone differently in addition to any prevailing health concerns. This vein is separate from any emotional related issues.
That being said– I want everyone know the ways they can help me. I say this because it’s the one question I get asked a lot and to be frank, I’m getting tired of answering it.
First–don’t be offended when I don’t want to talk about what I eat, drink or about my lack thereof. I am on a strict diet that only allows me to eat certain items at certain times and certain portions. When I get set on my menu I do not need anyone steering me away from it. It’s hard enough not eating certain foods while pregnant. This just adds on mental stress and the best thing you can do is keep my mind preoccupied with something else (look squirrel!) or at the very least not mention fruit Juice (seriously it’s a big no-no.)
Second–please understand the mental and physical toll this diagnosis has on me. Saying “it will all go away when the baby is here” I know is a cop-out saying to help me think it’s almost over but for me the risk of diabetes still will continue to still linger. This is an attempt to change my eating habits. Not to learn more info-but actually record and recognize HOW all food affects me. I have strips and a meter and have to prick myself 4x a day. For someone who is overweight it’s a wake up reality. Almost like a science experiment. With a psychological affect that can make me very short tempered and very depressed at random moments. Be gentle. Meaning of jokes may be lost.
Last– don’t tell me what I need to do. If I have questions I know who to ask. If I need menu suggestions I will get very specific about what I can and cannot have. Please be respectful of this. If you want to make sure I stick to my diet ask me what you can make OR don’t do anything and I will figure it out on my own. The guidelines I have are not even the same as someone else who may have this issue as everyone’s hormones can act differently. Be aware.
I apologize if this scares anyone from offering food to me but it matters to me to get it right this time. My own child depends on it. And to be honest–my own health does too because I want to live to see my child grow up. Sorry for any bluntness but it’s true–if you can’t understand this, then get away from me. Im already fighting a losing battle and don’t need pessimistic negative people ruining it for me.
Do you ever think about the things you say about our entire group or persons? Sounds so logical and simple to do, right? But how often do you really think about the words that come out of your mouth. Because our sayings, our outbursts, our statements not only hold value (unlike holding less than rocks and stones) and they all have consequences (good or bad.) Image adding the mix politics or religion. Big bag of mixed up mess. Pretty much a media frenzy. Why think about it? Why does it matter?
This is why I wanted to post about blanket statements. So often in the realm of religion and politics, we make statements that we believe are strong and take a stance. And while I do not dispute taking action for what you believe in – whatever that may be– making statements that incorporate entire groups or entire belief structures can be dangerous and hurtful.
Take for example “Women should stay in the kitchen.” While some women want to be in the kitchen and there may be even health benefits to such facts–not all women want to stay in the kitchen. In fact, those that choose not stay may get upset and angry because the statement is in direct contradiction to what they believe or do. There are several examples in politics and religion where these blanket statements are both hurtful and derogatory towards the audience possibly because the speaker did not realize or did not care about the words said.
From a more personal note, while I have been the victim of my own accusation here (all asians are bad drivers-sorry😦 ), I try my best to take into consideration when something I don’t agree with is stated to attempt to understand it and pay respect to its speaker. Using the above example: I would not agree that all women should be in the kitchen. Some women have to work. Other women don’t like cooking. But instead of lashing out against the speaker about something I disagree with – I would try to understand it from the speakers view.”why should women be in the kitchen?”, ” do you like a woman only in the kitchen?”, and so forth.
Now I will compound this onto religion and politics.Digest these phrases: “All democrats are socialists.” “All Trump supporters are ignorant.” “Christian beliefs are dumb.” “Atheists are bad.”
Regardless of what you believe politically or religiously-there has to be a realization that these phrases impact others in a negative way. In fact-they are adjectives describing an entire group of people.Yet- not all democrats are socialists…not all trump supporters are ignorant…not all Christians are dumb and not all atheists are bad.
I hope that as time progresses we learn to pay respect to everyone and their beliefs, whether it be in agreement or disgreement with our own. Again, while I agree to stand for what you believe in, realize that beliefs change and that learning happens from 0-an infinite number of age. The phrase “don’t talk about religion and politics” is probably one of the most ridiculous things to say for it is those topics we need to graciously hash out between people for peaceful understanding and recognition.